BREAKING NEWS | We’ve just been told we’re not allowed to use the C-word in the office!!!!
Yes! Mentioning Christmas has been banned!! (Until the end of the month at least!!)
Apparently, it’s bad luck!
Maybe there is something in that.
TEMPTING FATE
After all, every project manager knows that certain words and phrases carry more risk than the project itself. Say the wrong thing at the wrong time, and suddenly, milestones slip, dependencies collapse, and stakeholders start sending emails titled “urgent” at 8 p.m.
Much like actors who refuse to say Macbeth in a theatre, or sailors who never whistle on a ship, project managers have a set of cursed phrases … the things you should never utter unless you’re ready to tempt fate.
From “We’re basically done” to “We don’t need a BA,” each one is a proven trigger for chaos, delays, or mysterious spikes in scope.
So, for your reading pleasure (and mild entertainment of anyone who’s ever had a straightforward sprint go sideways and then some), here’s …
PROJECT MANAGER’S JINXED FORBIDDEN PHRASES
“On Track” — Inevitably, a sudden derailment ensues.
“Shouldn’t Take Long” — Translation: clear your calendar.
“Fully Resourced” — Cue the biggest bout of illness in a generation (it’s the reason you have Stoneseed’s PMaaS on speed dial, right?)
“What’s the Worst That Could Happen?” — The universe says “Challenge accepted”.
“The Hard Part’s Done” — Except, that’s when the real problems start.
“It’s Only a Minor Tweak” — Universally acknowledged as the prelude to three-week delays.
“We’re Basically Done, Right?” — Cue the longest 5% in project management history.
“The Client Loves It” — Brace for a massive change request.
“That Won’t Be an Issue” — Magic words that make it become one.
“The Team Is Solid” — The quickest way to have your talent headhunted! (Another great reason to have Stoneseed’s PMaaS bookmarked)
“That’ll Only Take a Day” — Yeah. One of those days that lasts a week and a half.
“On Paper, This Is Just Like the Last Project” — On paper – yes. In reality too, apart from every single thing.
“Everyone’s on the Same Page” — Last words before you realise you’re not even all in the same book.
“The Budget Is The Budget. Solid, Safe And Robust” — PING … email from the CFO!
“Final Version” — Until the next “final” version, and the one after that, and eventually FINAL_v9.
“We Don’t Need A BA” — Translation: you really, really, REALLY needed a BA. (Fortunately, Stoneseed’s Business Analysis as a Service has you covered there!).
Just QA And We’re Good To Go” — QA is never “just” anything. QA is about to discover something terrifying and nightmarish.
“We don’t need a meeting for that” — Indeed, you will need three.
“We’re ahead of schedule” — Famous last words, guaranteed to anger the schedule gods.
“We’re Done, Barring The Retrospective” — Never, ever say “done” before the retrospective. Cue epic scope creep.
“Low Risk” — You just invited Murphy’s Law* to prove you wrong.
“We’ve Got Plenty of Time” — The last words documented in the Project Management Plan (PMP) before panic set in.
“Let’s Park That” — Like when you park the car outside the supermarket and can’t find it, destined to resurface at go-live!
“We Have All The Required Competencies/Skills/Experience In House” — Seriously, just in case, our number is 01623 723910.
If you have any more to add, I’d love to hear from you.
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Click to read more blogs – www.stoneseed.co.uk
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SURVIVAL
If you’re going to survive the curse of the project gods, make sure you have:
A plan: The PMI’s Pulse of the Profession report found that only 60% of organisations always or often apply risk management practices, despite identifying frequent use of standardised risk management practices as one of its Key Drivers of Project Success! (Alexander Strazmesterov wrote a piece for PMI on optimised risk management that is worth a read)
And …
The right support: that’s where Stoneseed’s Project Management as a Service (PMaaS) comes in: ready to step in, scale with your team, and help you dodge the most infamous pitfalls of project life.
THE CONCLUSION
IT Project Management isn’t just a discipline; it’s an act of total and utter faith.
We juggle complexity, align stakeholders, and defy the laws of time and budget on a daily basis.
But this eternal truth remains …
… speak these phrases at your peril.
And … next time someone says: “We’re basically done” …
… light a candle, knock on wood, and make a small offering to the gods of project fate (my friend Michelle says “superstition is just risk management with better branding”) … then call Stoneseed!
If you are dealing with the aftermath of having uttered a jinxed, forbidden phrase and could use a flexible, cost-effective way to source IT project management expertise (without the overheads of permanent hires or contractors), you know where we are: Call 01623 723910 or email info@stoneseed.co.uk…
… Just don’t wish us Happy Christmas.
* Murphy’s Law — the universal project principle stating that anything that can go wrong, will … and usually right after you’ve said, “What’s the worst that could happen?”
More about Project Management as a Service from Stoneseed
Sources:
Stoneseed Project Management as a Service
Stoneseed Business Analysis as a Service
https://www.pmi.org/learning/library/what-could-go-wrong-10875
https://www.sunsail.com/uk/blog/boating-myths-and-superstitions